Category Archives: tag

Mommy Guilty?


The other day I went shopping and picked up a few (which turned out to be quite a lot actually) clothes for self and Pattu. I did some quick mental math (which involves me spreading out my fingers and toes and at times asking my company to do the same)… anyway, the point is, I realised that it would make an obscene bill. At this point, I commanded the objective, fair judge (in me) to take over and be merciless in throwing out irrational items from the shopping cart. And the objective, fair judge (in me) threw out 2 of the 3 items that I had picked up for Pattu while all my 3 items made it to the billing counter.

My friend gave me a shocked look to suggest, ‘a nice, selfless mom, aren’t you?’. I actually felt a bit shame shame and all that but I put up a brave face and didn’t show it.

There are a few more instances as well: If Pattu and I are both hungry, I gobble down a few mouthfuls (I can gobble down a full meal in a few mouthfuls, especially when I am hungry) before I even think of getting Pattu’s food ready (but then I am usually very quick to download my few mouthfuls). A hungry me is not a very pleasant sight. But of course if there’s only one plate of food between us, I’ll give it to Pattu (expecting Pattu to feel blessed).

That made me wonder, I can’t think of one instance where my mom has put herself before her children. And that brings me to the question, am I the only shame shame mom around or have we (as moms) changed? 

Inviting all you moms out there to pour your guilt here. However, considering the popularity of my blog (the lack of it), I think it is a better idea to tag a few of you than leave it so open ended. So, the tag goes to Artutbt and Vidya (because I think you all are very unlikely candidates to have done something like this). You have to:

1. Write about 2 instances where you have put yourself before your child/ children… been a wee bit selfish.
2. How did you feel? Did you feel a pang of guilt or were you comfortable?
3. Tag 2 more moms (I want to know I have company, you see **EVIL GRIN**)


Motherhood Lessons from Pattu

Hello all you lovely aunties! This is Pattu. You know Uma aunty has tagged amma and amma doesn’t have time to do it. So, I decided to take a shot at it…. so here I go…

These are some lessons I taught Amma:

1. I can’t look cute when I’m crying. Have you ever tried it? It is tough, let me tell you.
2. Whaddya mean you can’t sing? I don’t care for the CDs … I WANT MY AMMA TO SING…no matter how bad you are
3. No matter how well planned I am, Amma always starts digging into her food when I feel the urge to poop. Hullo, you can’t blame me – I’m still grappling with all the levers in my body…
4. I can’t be adorable all the time… not even to you amma… C’mon, I have to be myself at times…
5. When Amma is unwell, I so want to hug her and be with her all the time. I’m not being clingy! Why don’t you understand?
6. Amma, I’m sorry, but I am actually enjoying ‘Time outs’ – the view of the room from a corner is always interesting. And why do you look like someone punished you? Huh?
7. There’s no ‘one size fits all’ in parenting. I am different …aren’t you different from your friends?
8. WARNING: Comparing notes on my progress can adversely affect your BP.
9. I cannot play the piano at 3 yrs. And I don’t intend to. Excuse me, what were you doing when you were 3?! You think ammamma hasn’t told me 😉
10. Don’t keep telling me about junk food. I know just as you do. Can you exercise restraint? And you’ve been trying for 30 odd years!
11. You can’t tell me to be honest and be angry with me for telling that aunty that I don’t like her. Make up your mind.
12. Sure there are some kids who do as they are told. But then, hey, won’t you feel insulted if you were given a less difficult  interesting task (me, ahem!)?
13. Honestly amma, there are times when I don’t want you. Now, don’t give me that ‘hurt-ba-lamb’ look. I know you aren’t going to the hospital every  time – you have fun with your friends.

And can I request my friends Jillu, V, and LG to take up the tag? Their moms have been on a break too…

My Fragile 30-Plus Body – Tag

Apu has tagged me to write about my fragile 30-plus body. I moved to this category long back and have been at the receiving end of a string of threats and advice.

The first thing that I heard as soon as I hit 30 was, “Time is running out, have a child quick”. To hear that time is running out at the ripe young age of 30 is scary to say the least. I was told that it is difficult to conceive after 30 and all the more difficult to produce a healthy child and to have a normal delivery. Well, I delivered Pattu when I was 32 and I had a normal delivery.
I’m sure all these were well meant, but again, I think we are focusing on the wrong parameter – it is fitness that counts and not really ‘age’.
The next thing I heard was, “Eat less – after 30, it is easy to gain (weight) but difficult to lose”. Given my ‘un-feminine’ appetite I still find this difficult to follow. Again, I think it is more about ‘eating carefully’ than about eating less/ more and also working out regularly. I know a few women in their late 40-s who are not necessarily slim but have the stamina to last a tough day and still wake up cheerfully the next day. Most of us would probably want a week off after that kind of physical exertion.
However, most of the ads I see harp on losing ‘inches’ but not gaining ‘fitness’.

Like Apu mentioned, there’s the skin and hair trouble that one can never be rid of. You take care of your tan and you have black spots, pigmentation, dryness, dull skin, dandruff, damaged hair and what not.
One thing that I have noticed is that my mom’s generation had a routine. They had a simple routine but then they were more disciplined than us. For instance, they oiled their hair everyday and had oil massage and a shikakai bath once a week. Most of us do this only once in a while at a parlour, whenever we have the time.

On the other hand, I am quite happy about this 30+ awakening when it comes to the focus on routine gynaecological check ups post 30 yrs. A lot of women discover ovarian cancer and the likes quite late. With the increase in breast cancer, it is better to overemphasise than play things down. Many women are aware of osteoporosis and take precautions.
Those days, after childbirth the women were just expected to be plump,selfless and they seldom had life outside ‘family’. It was not even a career for many women, it was just a job. I’ve seldom seen my mom’s generation ‘hang-out’ with their friends for instance. Thankfully, these have undergone a change.

‘Fear’ and ‘Hope’


Utbt had tagged me (long long ago) to list down my 5 fears. So, here I go.

1. Am I making the right choices for Pattu? I worry about the choices that I am making for Pattu. Am I doing the right things? There are so many theories, opinions, conventional wisdom and then there’s ones own instinct that is sometimes conflicting. I hope it turns out ok.
2. Children’s safety. I don’t have to say more. This planet seems to be getting more dangerous by the day, especially for the children. It is just so depressing.
3. Snakes – they visit our neighbourhood once in a while. Really!
4. The maid won’t turn up tomorrow! The maid, the nanny and the driver will ditch on the day I have an unavoidable meeting and hubby is not in town!!!! *SHIVERS AT THE THOUGHT*
5. That my smile won’t be returned and I’ll look silly. 

Having said that, I never lose hope. I hope for a better life, better place, better world. I hope for the best, no matter what news I read/ see.

I think I am supposed to tag a few…so here you are: (the usual suspects) – Jayashree, Hema, Lavanya, Chotu’s Mom…

I just saw IHM’s post I really hope her daughter gets well soon. Somehow, when children suffer, no matter who they are, the pain is just the same. Prayers.

Sinfully Yours

The River of Sin is flowing through the blog world and why should I be left behind! Apu and  Momo’s Ma have tagged me and thanks ladies, would have shamelessly picked it up and done it anyways 🙂

IHM started it –  “Please list at least ten things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to.”

1. I don’t wear my Mangal Sutr regularly. 
2. Love Blue. Hate pink, jewelry, make up, lace, frills and flapping eyelids. I don’t have more than 3 pairs of footwear at any given point of time. 
3. Bunked classes, jumped over the college gate. Picked up fights with men who occupied the ‘ladies seat’ in bus and many other such things. Punched a boy at school for bullying my little bro. Whistled with reckless abandon at the Cinemas.
4. Actively involved in sports, NCC and dabbled in Karate… anything outdoor without a care about my ‘complexion’ despite warnings that I’ll become dark-er and ugly-er. *BLAH*
5. Sport really-short-curly-messy-mop just for a lark
6. Had a brief fleeting affair with Alcohol though I’m off it for a long time now
7. Lived alone, traveled alone. I once boarded a bus from Madurai to Chennai at midnight and I was the only female passenger. I was 24 then. 
8. Used Men’s perfumes – I just liked them, so?
9. Hate mush and the M&Bs. I read one and avoided them like plague ever since
10. I wonder why some guests’ eyes pop out while I’m chatting with them and hubby is making tea for all of us. Probably they don’t know that he makes better tea (though I think my FIL and my dad are BEST at it) and that I graciously accept and appreciate it 😉

To offset these, I like to bathe atleast once a day and weed out the facial hair. Crave for gossip once in a while. Love to cook, host, do up home. I indulge in clothes and bags (all Jute and other fabric). Like a clean kitchen and bathroom.  

And I pass on the tag to …. hmm… looks like the whole world has already done it… Hema, Jayashree, Chotu’s mom,  Moushumi, 

Me too is ‘Tagged’


Swati has tagged me to say seven things that people don’t know about me. I’ve seen this tag doing the rounds in blogosphere and here I am doing it now… So please fasten your seat belt, here I go…

1. I can’t drive (LOL – and I told you all to fasten your seat belt!). I’m terrified of traffic, cows, dogs and even the crows on the road! I’ve never even been on a bicycle *HIDING MY FACE IN SHAME*

OK, now that I’ve said this, it is easy to say the rest.

2. I haven’t seen snowfall yet 😦 … or for that matter never experienced single digit temperatures

3. I am absent minded. Once, when the family sat down for dinner I realised that I had cooked everything but rice! More recently I was frantically looking for my phone and went back to the rest room, cafeteria and rummaged through my desk for a good 15 mins when I figured out that I was talking on the phone all the while! I hope you’ll still read me and be my friends.

4. I guess I’m not a movie buff – If I count all the movies I’ve watched till date, I’m sure it would be less than 100.

5. The one thing I really feel bad about is the fact that I can’t sing! Not that I’m good at everything else, but I don’t feel so bad about it. A few maamis tried but gave up eventually. I have absolutely no sense of sound 😦

6. My childhood ambition was to become an underworld don. Well, I have a few months of Karate and and rifle shooting under my belt…

7. I cried when Dumbledore died.

And now its your turn ladies… I tag Lavanya, Jayashree, Apu and TPL