Category Archives: Stereotype

Warli busts Gender Stereotypes?

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We were trying our hand at Warli. We made a family for starters… and Pattu wants to know, “In Warli the men also wear skirts?” 

And while on this topic….
At Nalandaway’s Art and Craft Carnival, I found many parents (both moms and dads alike) steering the daughters towards jewelry making and their sons away from it. Consciously or sub-consciously, I don’t know. One of the little boys was so fascinated with jewelry making that he insisted on trying it out while his mum was pushing him towards greeting cards and the likes. I couldn’t resist the aaarrrggghhh that was building up inside me, so I told the mom (politely only…) that a good number of jewelry designers are men and that it is a very lucrative profession. 
To which she said, ‘but it is a waste of time…he cannot wear any of these na’. **Gggrrrrr…the woman didn’t get it! ** 
and here’s the best part… the little boy said, ‘but I’ll make bracelet and chain for you amma… see this one is nice..’  **awww so cute it was**

So, they were made by the boy and proudly worn by the mom. She came and showed me…she was beaming! **Gggrrr gone and happy**

So, Parents, leave them kids alone!

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How Would You React? II

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I’ve been off the web for a while – apologies. Since I asked for your opinions, I should have responded earlier. Thank you all for sharing here; Apu – thanks for the prod – much needed 🙂 and thanks IHM for tweeting this 🙂
And, here I go, without more ado:


1. At an interview to a single woman: When are you getting married? To a married woman: Are you planning a family in the near future?
No matter what, these are personal questions and has nothing to do with ones capability. This is as good as saying married women and pregnant women are not ’employable’! Every employee is bound to serve a notice period giving the organisation enough time to replace the loss. I don’t see how this situation is any different.
D, to your comment – What if a male employee moves on to a better job? Attrition is something that any organisation, small or large, will have to cope with. The trend analysis will tell you to expect a certain percentage of attrition every year and the organisation should have plans to tackle it. Moreover, this question assumes that it is always the woman who moves/ quits after marriage – Not so anymore. I see a lot of men moving places/ jobs as they see fit.


2. Two male colleagues discussing the absence of another male colleague:
C1: “He left early (which was well past official timing anyway)… he had to take care of his kid”
C2: Looking surprised, “What does his wife do? Already henpecked is it!” sniggers

and 
4. Male colleague sharing lunch that he had cooked. Another MC – “That’s the plight of being married to a working woman”
A lot of men still think that it is sissy to change diapers, feed the toddlers, cook and run errands. So, it is more important to seem ‘macho’ than to be responsible and useful around your own home. It is as good as saying, “God, forget the brain but don’t make me bald”!
PS: I have a feeling many men will resonate with that as well!!

Pooh – the best retort award for No-4 goes to you 😀

3. At a ribbon cutting ceremony, a young woman is approached by a male colleague
MC: Making it sound like it is some great honor “We need a young woman like you to greet the chief guest ..”(hold a tray and offer the scissors)
The irked young woman refuses and the man turns to another not so young woman in desperation. There are atleast 30 men – young and not so young at the ceremony!

KP, this one is for you.
In absolute terms, no, there’s nothing wrong with holding the tray. However, this is not as simple as it seems. Have you ever seen a man holding the tray?
My peeve here is that women are perceived to be ornamental additions to such ceremonies where men hold serious offices. There were so many men at the ceremony – why weren’t any of them approached? And how is it honorable for women if the same job is shameful for men?

5. Perception that women who drink/ smoke have ‘loose morals’. On many occasions, I’ve heard comments such as, “She drinks and attends late night parties, so obviously…(men misbehave)”  And almost always it sounds like it is the woman’s fault and not the mans.

DesiGirlLOL!  **Hi-Fi** Best Comment award to you!
I can go on and on about this one but DesiGirl has just about put it in perspective. Quoting her comment here:

 Men drink and smoke DG hasn’t seen them being sexually assaulted by women though often by other men. With the given logic, if a woman makes as much money as a man and has same level of education then she should be sexually assaulting drunk men. 🙂

Only point where I disagree is – education or money has nothing to do with this. Just that the men have always drawn boundaries around women and if they step out of those boundaries, they are just ‘asking for it’. And where are the boundaries for the men??!!

Another observation from KP – sharing it here:


this idea is perpetuated and drilled into the social psyche by movies and TV series. I dont need to tell you the number of times any female villain has been portrayed as a drinking/smoking and partying girl and the minute she is “rectified” she is shown as wearing a saree and bindi and being coy!


How would you react?

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Some statements/ situations/ questions that have made me go aarrrgggghhh….

Now, I’m inviting you all to give me your best retorts/ responses to the following aarrrgggghh statements/ questions/ situations… and do share some that you might have come across..

1. At an interview to a single woman: When are you getting married? To a married woman: Are you planning a family in the near future?

2. Two male colleagues discussing the absence of another male colleague:
C1: “He left early (which was well past official timing anyway)… he had to take care of his kid”
C2: Looking surprised, “What does his wife do? Already henpecked is it!” sniggers

3. At a ribbon cutting ceremony, a young woman is approached by a male colleague
MC: Making it sound like it is some great honor “We need a young woman like you to greet the chief guest ..”(hold a tray and offer the scissors)
The irked young woman refuses and the man turns to another not so young woman in desperation. There are atleast 30 men – young and not so young at the ceremony!

4. Male colleague sharing lunch that he had cooked. Another MC – “That’s the plight of being married to a working woman”

5. Perception that women who drink/ smoke have ‘loose morals’. On many occasions, I’ve heard comments such as, “She drinks and attends late night parties, so obviously…(men misbehave)”  And almost always it sounds like it is the woman’s fault and not the man’s.

Now, kind readers, how would you react?

Duh!sai Trick

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A – (announcing with visible pride) I figured out how to get the first dosai right
B – Oh really? For me, the tawa usually behaves well after messing up the first dosai
A – Yeah, but the firt one always posed a problem. It sticks and you have to fight with it. But today, I got even the very first one right
(and A made it sound like the dosai sprang up obediently and did a somersault in mid air before getting its belly tanned on the tawa)
B – Oh, that’s something…
A – I figured out the trick – you have to get the tawa to the right temperature – not too hot, not warm.. just about moderate and then dab a film of oil before pouring the batter. It comes clean.
B – Oh….interesting….is there some indicator for the right temperature?
A – Not sure… (thinking)
B – You have to check if this is a repeatable process…

Men make even kitchen conversations sound like some serious lab experiment!

On a different note, looks like there’s still hope for (Wo)mankind!

Sinfully Yours

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The River of Sin is flowing through the blog world and why should I be left behind! Apu and  Momo’s Ma have tagged me and thanks ladies, would have shamelessly picked it up and done it anyways 🙂


IHM started it –  “Please list at least ten things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to.”


1. I don’t wear my Mangal Sutr regularly. 
2. Love Blue. Hate pink, jewelry, make up, lace, frills and flapping eyelids. I don’t have more than 3 pairs of footwear at any given point of time. 
3. Bunked classes, jumped over the college gate. Picked up fights with men who occupied the ‘ladies seat’ in bus and many other such things. Punched a boy at school for bullying my little bro. Whistled with reckless abandon at the Cinemas.
4. Actively involved in sports, NCC and dabbled in Karate… anything outdoor without a care about my ‘complexion’ despite warnings that I’ll become dark-er and ugly-er. *BLAH*
5. Sport really-short-curly-messy-mop just for a lark
6. Had a brief fleeting affair with Alcohol though I’m off it for a long time now
7. Lived alone, traveled alone. I once boarded a bus from Madurai to Chennai at midnight and I was the only female passenger. I was 24 then. 
8. Used Men’s perfumes – I just liked them, so?
9. Hate mush and the M&Bs. I read one and avoided them like plague ever since
10. I wonder why some guests’ eyes pop out while I’m chatting with them and hubby is making tea for all of us. Probably they don’t know that he makes better tea (though I think my FIL and my dad are BEST at it) and that I graciously accept and appreciate it 😉


To offset these, I like to bathe atleast once a day and weed out the facial hair. Crave for gossip once in a while. Love to cook, host, do up home. I indulge in clothes and bags (all Jute and other fabric). Like a clean kitchen and bathroom.  


And I pass on the tag to …. hmm… looks like the whole world has already done it… Hema, Jayashree, Chotu’s mom,  Moushumi, 

Stereotypes

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‘Girls play with dolls and boys play with cars’. Pattu tossed this stereotype out of the window the day she was given dolls to play with. She clearly prefers the acrobatics to the dolls. She can’t sit in one place for long and has bruised knees and elbows all the time. Loves to kick, turn furniture upside down, climb up gates and anything else taht can be climbed, jump across sofas, from tables… Even during pretend play, she becomes Popeye and Krishna and Bheem more often. I once overheard a tired patti’s voice on the phone, ‘she’s hardly like a girl child… so difficult to manage! I didn’t have such a tough time even with my grandson!’. I’ve come across quite a few mothers who have similar stories to share.

So, is it time for the stereotypes to go?