Category Archives: Pattuspeak

Whatever it means


Found this poster in one of the rest rooms in a mall.

Isn’t it supposed to bring out the worst in you? Or did I get it wrong?

And while on the topic, recently while out for shopping, Pattu wanted a bio break. So, I found the nearest staff and asked, “Where is the bathroom?”.

Pattu tugs at my T shirt and says in hushed tone, looking rather embarrassed, “Rest room amma…not bathroom!”

I went on a flash back trip 2 yrs back when Pattu would loudly announce, “Ammaaa Mooochaaa” much to my embarrassment.

We’ve grown up, haven’t we?


Pattu turns 5


She had 2 new sets of clothes to choose from. She chose to wear an old frock that she likes most. This is your day Pattu and your joy counts, who are we to tell you otherwise.

Pattu has been waiting to turn 5 since her dear friend P is 5. P is exactly 1 yr older than Pattu so I told her

Amma: “When you turn 5 P will become 6”
Pattu: looking all upset “Tell P to wait amma…then we both can be 5 together…”

Well, Pattu, Time is merciless…

Ms Pattu walks out of Mother India

and the producers had to rope in someone else to be ready for release for Independence Day.
Yes, Pattu was supposed to hold the flag and stand at the center while other older children danced to a patriotic number. But Pattu felt that the role does not give her enough opportunities to display her talent (too much nenappu (attitude) for being so damathoondu (small) I thought!!)
“Amma, I also want to dance like the others…I don’t want to just stand”
That’ll take a while my dear…maybe next year.
Instead, she was happy winning 2 prizes for sports and participating in a drawing contest. 
Psst: The drawing was too funny…it just had some blobs of colour though she called the blobs ‘house’, ‘tree’, ‘sheep’, ‘sun’, ‘flower’, ‘cloud’, ‘girl’ …  

Warli busts Gender Stereotypes?

We were trying our hand at Warli. We made a family for starters… and Pattu wants to know, “In Warli the men also wear skirts?” 

And while on this topic….
At Nalandaway’s Art and Craft Carnival, I found many parents (both moms and dads alike) steering the daughters towards jewelry making and their sons away from it. Consciously or sub-consciously, I don’t know. One of the little boys was so fascinated with jewelry making that he insisted on trying it out while his mum was pushing him towards greeting cards and the likes. I couldn’t resist the aaarrrggghhh that was building up inside me, so I told the mom (politely only…) that a good number of jewelry designers are men and that it is a very lucrative profession. 
To which she said, ‘but it is a waste of time…he cannot wear any of these na’. **Gggrrrrr…the woman didn’t get it! ** 
and here’s the best part… the little boy said, ‘but I’ll make bracelet and chain for you amma… see this one is nice..’  **awww so cute it was**

So, they were made by the boy and proudly worn by the mom. She came and showed me…she was beaming! **Gggrrr gone and happy**

So, Parents, leave them kids alone!

Dr. Pattu

Pattu is busy role playing with her doctor set. I am the Patient. Pattu brings a stethoscope, forceps and a bottle of medicine. Putting the stethoscope to my back, she says, ‘breathe’. I comply.

Pattu: You have cold, I’ll give you syrup. It is sweet only, don’t cry, ok.
Amma cries and puts up a fight.
Pattu: No…show aaaa … be quiet, else I’ll call the doctor!
Amma: Oh, but who are you then?
Pattu: I’m the nurse
Amma cries and puts up a fight again
Pattu calls the doctor and Dr. Pattu arrives.
Dr. Pattu: Why are you troubling? Show aaa… it is a sweet medicine only… show
Amma reluctantly shows aaa and Dr. Pattu pulls out a teeth using the forceps.
Amma: Ouch! Why did you do that? You said I only have a cold!
Dr.Pattu: But I had the forceps…that’s why. Now I’ll put nose drops ok?
Amma is scared and objects.
Dr.Pattu: Looking annoyed.. If you keep troubling, then I’ll have to call the plumber!

If Pattu becomes a doctor, god (or the plumber?) save her patients! 

Carrot and Stick


Pattu’s cousins were coming over. Two days before their arrival I started giving gyan on sharing and being well behaved and all that, Pattu nodding absently.

Amma: So, if there are only 2 candies, you’ll give one to A and the other one to C and amma will get one for you later ok?
Pattu: No amma.
Amma: !!?? What?
Pattu: If there are only 2 candies, I’ll take one and give the other one to C. A can adjust. It’s ok.
Amma: That’ll make you a bad girl then…
Pattu: after some thinking... that’s ok amma… sometimes I’ll be a bad girl… sometimes only, not always..ok?

Silence followed for few minutes.

Pattu: Amma, tell me a story…
Amma: I won’t… because you don’t share. Bad girl!
Pattu: That is only laaater amma… later only I’ll be a bad girl, now I am a good girl. Tell me story now.

Motherhood Lessons from Pattu

Hello all you lovely aunties! This is Pattu. You know Uma aunty has tagged amma and amma doesn’t have time to do it. So, I decided to take a shot at it…. so here I go…

These are some lessons I taught Amma:

1. I can’t look cute when I’m crying. Have you ever tried it? It is tough, let me tell you.
2. Whaddya mean you can’t sing? I don’t care for the CDs … I WANT MY AMMA TO SING…no matter how bad you are
3. No matter how well planned I am, Amma always starts digging into her food when I feel the urge to poop. Hullo, you can’t blame me – I’m still grappling with all the levers in my body…
4. I can’t be adorable all the time… not even to you amma… C’mon, I have to be myself at times…
5. When Amma is unwell, I so want to hug her and be with her all the time. I’m not being clingy! Why don’t you understand?
6. Amma, I’m sorry, but I am actually enjoying ‘Time outs’ – the view of the room from a corner is always interesting. And why do you look like someone punished you? Huh?
7. There’s no ‘one size fits all’ in parenting. I am different …aren’t you different from your friends?
8. WARNING: Comparing notes on my progress can adversely affect your BP.
9. I cannot play the piano at 3 yrs. And I don’t intend to. Excuse me, what were you doing when you were 3?! You think ammamma hasn’t told me 😉
10. Don’t keep telling me about junk food. I know just as you do. Can you exercise restraint? And you’ve been trying for 30 odd years!
11. You can’t tell me to be honest and be angry with me for telling that aunty that I don’t like her. Make up your mind.
12. Sure there are some kids who do as they are told. But then, hey, won’t you feel insulted if you were given a less difficult  interesting task (me, ahem!)?
13. Honestly amma, there are times when I don’t want you. Now, don’t give me that ‘hurt-ba-lamb’ look. I know you aren’t going to the hospital every  time – you have fun with your friends.

And can I request my friends Jillu, V, and LG to take up the tag? Their moms have been on a break too…

Summer Fun

Last summer found Pattu either moping or monkeying around since she was too small for summer camps and those that were willing to take her were too far off. This summer, however, has so far been packed and fun-filled and Pattu is having a great time.
She loves the summer camp and this time I managed to take her to a couple of sessions by Storytrails The Seasons Trail and the Five Senses Trail. On both occasions she had a friend along and they had great fun. Only downside was that the venue was Fab India and I ended up shopping!
She has more friends now and I see her playing better in a group than she did a few months back and I’m glad for that.
We also went to a quieter beach on ECR (beyond Panayur) and got drenched and also collected lots of shells.

Pattu is moving on to a bigger school and she would also be commuting by the school bus. The two weeks in April was smooth – she settled in quite well, liked her class teacher, enjoyed the bus ride and even offered to take care of her friend who is ‘smaller’ than her (making a note to warn his mom about this). I also heard from the summer camp teacher that she is very protective around him. 

Attacked by the Green Eyed Monster

We were at a restaurant and Pattu was staring for a long time at a girl at the next table who seemed just a bit older than Pattu. While I was wondering about that, Pattu turns to me and asks, “Amma, isn’t pink my favourite colour?“. Still confused, I agreed and Pattu says with a frown on her face, “..then why is she wearing it!”

It starts this early!!??!!

And this is also the first time I’m sensing ‘envy’ in Pattu’s reactions…

Btw, Happy Women’s Day to every one of you out there!!